Saturday, June 14, 2008

True Life: I'm Really F'n Good at Killing Mosquitos

You know how when a mosquito is flying around and people clap their hands in the air to try to get it, but 99.9% of the time they end up missing and then they're really just clapping randomly, like they're at an Aretha Franklin concert? I don't think anyone ever intends or expects this to actually work, because it's absolutely disgusting when it does.

Well, let me tell you something: when I do it, it works EVERY TIME, and it's both my gift and my curse in life. I feel like the Hulk. Expect instead of me getting angry, it's me getting mosquito insides on my palm, and instead of liking it, I don't.

Yeah. This post is why the internet shouldn't be free. Or why health care should, because I'm pretty sure this is the scurvy talking.

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